Foolish in the Promise I Saw

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2/2/10

Dear E-

Well we got Dennis Kunich, His office RSVPed for an event we are having with Jane Goodall next week. Did you know he was a vegan? Apparently his wife was very active in passing the Great Apes Protection Act, who knew? Me well I am in a little bit of recovery mode from the trip to Florida from S. Overall it was a fun novel weekend, a bit exhausting really. I caught up with my cousin B who I had not seen in oh… uh 8 years to find out well we have done different things in those 8 years. Disney World was a lot of fun and I do hope S had a great birthday, we did his birthday dinner at a Teppanakyi Steakhouse in the Japan part of Epcot. I can not say Disneyworld is a place I would every really pick out to go to but for free it was a lot of fun. S and I’s favorite ride was Soarin’ a flight simulator that takes you hang gliding though California.

Work was boring and I don’t remember much. I did decide over the weekend that I am on the move from 413. I have been there a year and just don’t really think I can be happy there as much as I would like to be. It has been an emotional roller coaster ride of 2009 and I well, want to get off. There is plenty to say on the subject of H best to say- time to let go and seek my own path. He has nice stuff that is for sure but I want to strike out on my own…. As you say “we choose what we hold on to” and I have been holding on to a damn lot. I wanted to call the time I was home for Christmas a “reset” but we quickly fell into old patterns and were not speaking for weeks prior to blow-ups Sunday and last Thurs. Again much to say, much learned, and now DC real estate hunt take 2.

In that spirit, I went to check out a group house in the “gayborhood” it was a cool enough house but I think 7 people would be a bit much for me to deal with right now and I didn’t “fall well with them” in a literal translation of my favorite Spanish idiom. I am back at the stage where I have to decide what I want and make steps to get it.

I keep coming back to our dinners with you and how you would remind me I didn’t have to eat foods I didn’t like or finish my plate if I was full. You could call it the settling approach to life, self-effacement, fit to  form, making due, seeing the future as a choice or an option not something to be feared and I am working to return to that. I still remember how scared and excited I was this time last year, foolish in the promise I saw. Hopefully I can find a place to live that I was excited about I was about 413 but the time to move has come.

Here is to growth,

-B

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Not that I am Keeping Score.

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1/26/2010

Dear E,

There goes January. Last night I had a dream that my friend’s dog Ginger had security clearance, DC must be getting to me. Over all it was a  boring long day at preparing for tomorrow’s briefing on the subject of cross-boundry disease management among people livestock and animals in Africa.


The day gave me lots of time to think about my visit to the physic I made yesterday on a whim with my intern  E  after work. Ms. Jessica or her accomplice told me among other things “there is someone in your life that doesn’t want to see you happy,” which I took to mean H. She also strangely enough mentioned she saw California and something with “development” in my spirit. On the more obvious side she noticed I had not been sleeping well because something was keeping me up at night. Though she did not make the direct link to my “broken heart” she mentioned it along with nice things about how I am a good person do a great deal to help others. Her quick temper comment was the only thing that I felt was totally off base. All in all, I was a little startled by the specifics even if she was just pulling them out of her gypsy head and I was reading into everything she said. What is your experience with Georgetown palm readers?


Meanwhile, back on Tuesday, I met up with my fellow former Minnick interns for 25 cent wings on the hill. Two of my former slave labors landed jobs in the Minnick camp. One with the “official” office is making a whopping 25k which in Boise terms is like 14k or borderline poverty levels…. the other girl who got the job on the campaign side makes the exact same as me, is bursting with excitement for her upcoming trip to Coeur d’Alene and has a $600 deductible on her health insurance.  Not that I am keeping score. I am happy for them both fellow passengers in the boat of entry level joy. Things did work out for everyone. Even though I seem to be a bit of a professional party planner my job is paying me decently things are on the up and up.


There was another call to the folks, not that we ever talked about much before but now I feel especially important to keep the pleasantries moving along. Working on keeping up with my Tuesdays- but as my whole days are spend at the computer writing emails… it is a challenge that needs a dose of focus.

Love,

B

PS Taking up lots of space…

A Poor Man’s Pesto

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Dear E,

Third Tuesday of the New Year. At work my Tuesdays became much lonelier this year, I went from having three interns to a sort of half intern in the afternoon. The day was restful as the long weekend -well half day on Monday- gave me a kind of two half Mondays in a row which was a lot less painful. The half intern is probably who I was as college student. He seems a little semi present always in and of out mentally. I got a lot done with fewer interns in the office. I made dinner with the left overs from last week’s meal- a poor man’s pesto with parsley, walnuts and can o’ Parmesan. Parsley gave the dish a sharper flavor and something of a struggle to decide what the actual consistency of the pesto should be. That’s my Tuesday

Love,
B